Reconnect

I see and sense the separation everywhere. The news reporters telling us to beware of anything and everything. The fences built higher to block our neighbors out. The windows covered in iron bars, as if our homes were jails.

Women walk by me with their heads down, looking at their shoes. This subservient stance makes my heart ache. Think of all the things they miss while trying to avoid your eye contact! They have been made to fear a smile from a stranger.

Community dies while the individual is taught to sit in their fortress, strong on their own, never to ask for help or show a sign of weakness. Emotions are shoved into stomach ulcers and migraines until an act of violence purges it in one fell swoop.

You want a horror story for Halloween? Well, that horror story is called Separatism.

The truth is: it isn't more dangerous out there now than it was fifty years ago. Now we just have 24-hour news channels competing for your paranoia and the internet spreading lies and fear faster than Southern California's wildfires. The truth is: now we lock up our children with video games and microwave meals rather than allow them to ride their bikes and climb trees, then we wonder why they have diabetes and no friends. The truth is: no one wants to get involved for fear of retaliation. The truth is: when my boyfriend suffered a psychotic break and was hurling furniture at me, none of my neighbors called the police no matter how hard I screamed.

The question is: are you ready to fix this?

Step 1: Choose Positivity. Perhaps you are having a terrible day, week, month, or even year. Everyone has been there at some point in their life. Raise up your head and face everyone. Don't walk facing your shoes, or you'll suffocate your throat chakra and block your communication. Make eye contact with the people who walk by you. Smile, say "good morning", reconnect without fear.

Step 2: Be Grateful. Once a week, make a list of five things you're happy about. No "buts" allowed. "I am happy because the flowers in my garden look beautiful today." "I am glad because my car runs." "I am grateful for my ability to bake great cookies." Nothing is too mundane for this list! Rejoice in the little things that make your life worth living, and forget about the greed and mass-consumerism you've been told to embrace.

Step 3: Be Kind. Try to offer two unsolicited compliments every day. You'll find a world of wealth in the smiles you'll create.

Step 4: Question Your Anger. Most of the time our anger toward someone else is rooted in anger toward ourselves. When you find yourself angry, really probe into the reason why. Write it down and forgive yourself. We judge others so harshly without thinking about it, and it's very unhealthy. Neutralize your judgments and anger by adding an obvious statement to the end of each, like "The sky is blue." Your brain should eventually realize how useless these judgments are.

Step 5: Don't Confuse Your Wants With Your Needs. Does it really matter that your neighbor bought a new car and you can't afford to? How full must your shopping cart be before you're happy? Is that really happiness? Do you want that person in your life because you enjoy them or because they serve a purpose to you? Is a brand name really better? Is your event going to be so much bigger and better than so-and-sos event was? Why? Who are you trying to impress? What do you really need in your life? Think about it for a moment. Make a list. Okay? Now try to stop saying "need" when you mean "want". Take the pressure off yourself.

Reconnect.